Warm Summer Nights can be quite comfortable....especially in one of my favorite cities; Houston, Texas.
---so I like to stop by Club Onyx whenever it's time for me to leave the southern portion of the United States. I'm well aware that the "PrettyBrownRound" is at a minimum in Korea, so before I depart, I like to fill my eyes with some of the finer aspects of 미국문화 [American culture].
It was a Wednesday night--not crowded at all--perfect for my taste. Upon entering, I made eye contact with an attractive YoungLady [read: stripper] who was standing by the bar. After watching me send a couple of her StripperFriends away, she began to make her way across the room. Before she reached me, I got the impression she was going to offer a "cool experience" for this particular outing. Without any strained/awkward conversation, she smiled...and I smiled back...
She sat down easy on my lap, and put her around me. She smelled good. Cinnammon and shampoo. She looked good. Hazlenut skin...cute face...glitter sparkles on those luscious thighs...pretty toes. ---and yes, she was equipped with the "PrettyBrownRound--Drivin' Me Wild." I was Happy.
We chatted for a minute. She asked me what I did for a living. I told her the truth. She seemed interested. ---and then a nice song came on. I reached in my pocket, pulled out a monetary note...placed in on the table in front of us...and she proceeded to "do her thang." To her credit, she did it well.
Though I can't quite remember, I'm almost certain the song she danced to was of the Hip-Hop variety, had a nice bass line, and it was something we both enjoyed hearing.
But, I've had an epiphany.
From this moment forward, my official LapDanceSong is Tina Turner's "Private Dancer." This choice is made for a variety of reasons...and I'd like to share some with you.
I'm currently doing some reading on Feminism.
In the past, I've actively avoided learning about Feminism. Throughout Graduate School, I had a plethora of opportunities to read Feminist material and discuss topics with women who were actively engaged in Feminist research. Despite this conducive environment and the recognition of utlity in Feminist dialogues, I never really invested serious time and energy becoming more acquainted with it. But, that was wrong. It was short-sighted. It was cowardly. It was chauvanistic. It was debilatating. So, with the help of bell hooks (1984; 2000), and her book Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center, I am attempting a LifeChange. I should have known bell hooks, of all people, would have been a good introduction to Feminist thought as I am a fan of her work on masculinity. (By the way, bell hooks stimulates me intellectually as well as sexually. Her writing, alone, does something to a Playa. No lie.)
The one thing that has impressed me with hooks's (2000) argument is her supposition that Feminism is NOT the complete antithesis of Masculinity. As a result, Feminists should not be seen as people who want to trump, rule, and dominant Men. In fact, a large perecentage of her ideas are focused on critiquing the original feminists for a lack of definition, clarity, and communication of thorough Feminist Theory. One chapter, "Men: Comrades in Struggle," is dedicated to articulating the various ways in which the majority of Men are powerless victims of the sexism perpetuated by hegemony; just like women are also victims (2000).
hooks (2000) stresses finding commonality between the sexes; based on the ACTUAL ways in which the PowerStructure treats both Women and Men. She writes with a style and tone that challenges readers to sympathize, and dare I say, empathasize with the EveryDay Woman. So, when I hear Tina Turner croon:
"All the men come in these places,
and the men are all the same.
You don't look at their faces,
And you don't ask their name."
These words immediately situate the listener [me] as the Woman who is working in the StripClub; unlike most contemporary rap music. While listening to "Private Dancer," I receive the opportunity to understand how the situation looks to the Stripper who is servicing me. I'm a believer that self-reflexivity is healthy and beneficial in a variety of situations; I don't see why the StripClub should be different. A moment of self-reflection might go something like this:
"I am just like all the other tricks who enter this club. I am no different. I might try to come across like I'm different. But, in my attempt to do so, I probably look like the last 100 guys who did the same. It probably looks comical."
.....by the way, come to think of it, that cute lil' Stripper never "asked my name."
As the song goes on, Tina goes a bit deeper in the explanation of the Psychology of Stripping:
"You don't think of them [male patrons] as human,
You don't think of them at all.
You keep your mind on the money,
Keeping your eyes on the wall."
After reading hooks (2000), and coming to understand how the majority of Women and Men are simarily victimized through Sexism and perverse notions of Power, I have a better idea of how both parties mistakenly de-humanize each other. In the lyrics above, Tina Turner illustrates how young females, for the sake of sanity, de-humanize men in order to perform their roles in the production of sexual fantasies (for monetary gain). On the other hand, the proliferation of images that celebrate pimping and the comandering multiple women are constantly being peddled to young males (AND females). Consequently, unjustified [and unnecessary] de-humanization occurs on both sides of the gender coin. We are "tricking" each other. And we are "tricking" ourselves. Everyone's a loser.
Throughout her entire discussion on Feminism, bell hooks (2000) reiterates the notion of COOPERATION between the sexes. She argues that Feminisim should never be about Retaliation or Retribution. If Feminism becomes consumed with "turning the tables," then it is not a revolutionary concept at all. Instead, it is the same system with different PowerBrokers (hooks, 2000). Throught her entire book, she encourages readers to look past stereotypical notions of what is Male and what is Female. She consistently argues that Feminism's main role is to present a NEW WAY to relate to each other. COOPERATION over COMPETITION.
In her discussion on "Revolutionary Parenting," she illustratres this cooperative spirit quite well:
Men will not share equally in parenting until they are taught, ideally from childhood on, that fatherhood has the same meaning and significance as motherhood. As long as women or society as a whole see the mother/child relationship as unique and special because the female carries the child in her body and gives birth, or makes this biological experience synonymous with women having a closer, more significant bond to children than the male parent, responsibility for child care and child-rearing will continue to be primarily women's work. Even the childless woman is considered more suited to raise children than the male parent because she is seen as an inherently caring nurturer. The biological experience of pregnancy and childbirth, whether painful or joyful, should not be equated with the idea that women's parenting is necessarily superior to men's.
What have I learned?
Well....the next time I stop through Club Onyx, to fulfill my role as a LostBoy [read: trick], I am going to ask the YoungLady [read: stripper] to put on Tina Turner's "Private Dancer." I'm going to ask her to pay close attention to the words in the song. And as she begins to dance, I will lean back in my over-sized chair, and imagine the "EntertainmentExperience" from her vantage point...as Tina sings...
Deutsch marks or Dollars,
American Express will do nicely--Thank you...
Let me loosen up your collar,
Tell me do you wanna see me do the shimmy again?
WeBeGeekin'
www.ghettogeekin.blogspot.com
